Resolutioners vs. Continuers: How to Coexist Part One
- Ryan & Rachel
- Jan 22, 2019
- 6 min read
It's the time of year where gyms are overflowing, health food aisles are jam packed, and you're the office outlaw if you even THINK about bringing donuts to the workplace. Yes, ladies & gentlemen, it's New Year Resolutions Season!
When the new year comes, it often brings with it the hope for change and promise of endless possibilities - health & wellness being a very popular sector for such well wishes. This is exciting, but it can also be... well... it can also be annoying if we're being completely honest. Unfortunately, when "Resolutioners" flood the holy land of "Continuers", it gets messy at times. Potentially really messy.
So are we all doomed to battle it out over workout machines and the last bottle of kombucha until there's nothing left? Not if we can help it!
Since we've been both, Resolutioners AND Continuers, we've come up with a TWO PART strategy that we think can diminish negative interactions. It takes action from both groups to work, but let's be honest here folks. Aren't we all after the same thing? To be healthier versions of ourselves? That's enough common ground, don't you think?
For framing, we'll define "Resolutioner" and "Continuer" as they pertain to the health & wellness variation below. (FYI - these are our own definitions, you may be of a different opinion and that's okay)
Resolutioner: A person inspired by the new year to work on getting healthier. A Resolutioner may be completely new to the gym/health foods scene OR revisiting from previous attempts. Their energy is contagiously inspiring, but can also be squashed suddenly and completely without much effort.
Continuer: A person that may have originally started their health journey as a Resolutioner, but is solidly into their efforts and considers the gym and/or Nature's Own their happy place. This familiarity with the fitness industry makes them great resources, but can also make them self-righteous jerks that intimidate and scare off others.
Capeesh? Lovely.
Now that we have a general, shared understanding of what we're discussing, let's talk action steps, people. HOW CAN WE COEXIST LIKE THAT OVERLY PRODUCED BUMPER STICKER WITH ALL THE SYMBOLS SAYS WE SHOULD?!
Like we mentioned previously, both Resolutioners and Continuers have a part to play in this, so we've pulled out some key things each group can do to make our shared spaces co-inhabitable and split them into a two part blog post. We're going to start Part One with Continuers, and that's a deliberate choice. For us, we think Continuers need to take more ownership over making these spaces welcoming for others, because it is where they (we) already feel comfortable.
How "Continuers" Can Make Fitness Spaces More Welcoming for ALL:
1) Model good gym behavior: Find yourself getting annoyed that a newbie didn't wipe down their machine, is inconveniently lingering at the water fountain, or *GASP* didn't keep their kids in the designated child-safe area? We, too, have found ourselves fuming over such egregious offenses, but staring down the new person or verbally assaulting them is NOT going to do much more than cause a scene and/or scare them off for good. Instead of "acting out", take a breath, and make sure YOU are modeling what it looks like to be a good gym member. Resolutioners are watching those that they believe "belong" there more than they do to learn the ropes, so play the part. If you feel the need to engage verbally, do so with kindness and approachability. There's a big difference between, "WIPE YOUR SHIT OFF OR GET OUT!" and "Hey, do you mind wiping your machine down when you're done with it? I can help you find a spray bottle and rag if necessary, because they tend to disappear throughout the day *while smiling genuinely NOT creepily*." ---- speaking of smiling...
2) Smile and Be Helpful: Whether you're attending a workout class or rushing through the grocery store to snag your favorite organic coconut oil brand, you should refrain from being a know-it-all jerkface when a Resolutioner slows you down. It is not the end of the world if someone lines up in YOUR spot at Zumba nor is it if an individual momentarily pauses in front of YOUR coconut oil. Approaching people with kindness and understanding is important no matter the situation, and these are no different.
PRO TIP THOUGH: Don't have a Savior Complex, ya'll. Providing unsolicited advice to "teach" the person YOU have categorized as a "newb" is NOT the correct approach.
PAUSE FOR STORY TIME:
About this time last year, we were shopping at Hyvee in the health foods section. To set the stage, it was peak grocery shopping time, so God and everyone was there. We were under-dressed for being in public, wearing grungy sweats and hoodies (because it was cold and who cares what you wear to the store anyway), and we were committing the crime of lingering too long in front of the kombucha selection - deciding which flavor we wanted to choke down while pretending it was wine since it was day 14ish of #Whole30 and we wanted nothing more than an alcoholic beverage.
Got a visual? Sweet.
So there we are, paused, debating on flavors when BAM. We physically get pushed aside by what we can only describe as a blonde mid-30something housewife decked out in her best athleisure wear.
And her comment after the butt bump, while she reaches for a bottle of fermentation?
"I don't know why people like you even bother. You're obviously just going to drop this health facade in another week, maybe two, so you might as well give up now and get out of MY way. You're pathetic"
*Pause for reaction*
We just stood there - mouths agape - as she walked off with her kombucha and self-righteousness. This is an encounter we will NEVER forget, and we doubt anyone else would either. Words and actions have power. Is that woman the devil-incarnate? Maybe... Okay, no, she isn't. She probably wasn't even how we described her above, which is an unfair representation of a subset of people. BUT that's what sticks in our minds. Interactions like that helped fuel our journey over the last year. Others, though, could have been halted in their tracks by it, and that is really crappy. Don't be like that woman. Your temporary annoyance isn't worth damaging someone.
Now back to the list...
3) Remember why you started AND what it was like: Everyone was a beginner at some point. Yes, even Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson was once a novice fitness enthusiast. In other words, there was a time when the gym didn't feel like your happy place nor the health foods store feel like your comfort zone. Let that old anxiety humble you enough to know that others WILL and DO feel it, too. Be a reason that anxiety goes away for them, not a reason it gets worse.
Rachel here for another Story Time: When I first started going to the gym last year, I was a nervous wreck. Sure, I was a high school athlete and I'd dabbled in working out at some gyms before, but a traditional gym setting (not covered in purple with thumbs up everywhere) was NOT my idea of Xanadu.
I wouldn't go without Ryan - I stayed glued to the elliptical or treadmill (but would only walk on it, because I was self-conscious of my elephant-esque stomp) - and if I went to a fitness class at all it was with someone else and I stuck to the far back row and spoke to no one except the person I had come with, using them like a lifeline.
Now, I feel completely at home in the gym, which is good since I practically live there. Resolutioners would probably never guess that just last March I was more timid and scared of the gym than they are right now, but I was. Thankfully, Ryan and others acted like good Continuers and helped make me feel welcome and comfortable there. I got lucky and had AMAZING class instructors that created inclusive spaces for people of all levels, and I didn't let encounters with less than welcoming Continuers keep me from coming back day after day.
I hold on to this former reality, and it keeps me grounded when I find myself getting frustrated with Resolutioners. I'm open and honest about where I've come from when folks reach out to me about my journey, and I invite others to come along with me.
We all want the same things, so why should we act any differently? The answer? We shouldn't.
Well, there you have it, Continuers. Three ways YOU (we) can make our spaces as welcoming and inclusive as possible. None of these are groundbreaking, and are honestly pretty darn easy to do, so you don't have any excuses.
Resolutioners, Part Two is where you all come in. Be on the lookout for that post next!
Until then,
Ryan & Rachel
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