Obesity is...

Obesity is…

Hanging from the pullup bar as a first grader until your gym teacher says you can let go without doing one and then wondering why your peers can do something you can’t.

Being told by your crush that they’d date you if you lost weight.

Having VERY limited options to choose from when shopping for formal wear.

Being stereotyped as lazy or unathletic even if you play varsity sports.

Believing you have less to offer.

Obesity is…

Standing at an event because you don’t trust the chairs.

Getting anxiety at amusement parks and skipping the cool rides because you might not fit in the seats.

Struggling with PCOS, knowing that you’ll have to work twice as hard to be healthy as those without it.

Having “Fat” or “Big” in your nickname.

Feeling tired all the time.

Obesity is…

Explaining to your friend that “No” you really have never been sent a drink by a stranger at the bar.

Wanting to change everything about yourself.

Knowing no one wants you to sit by them on a plane.

Acting like you don’t hear the snide remarks you get at the gym or health foods store.

The expectation that you’re a human garbage disposal.

Obesity is…

Nodding along with an awkward half-smile when older folks or children comment on your size.

Being asked if someone can rub your belly.

Not being taken seriously when you talk about health or fitness even if you know a lot about the topic.

Laughing at the fat jokes because you don’t want to let on that they bother you.

Wondering if anyone will know you’re pregnant or if they will just assume you gained more weight.

Obesity is…

Trying to keep from rolling your eyes when your thin friends say they’re too fat then secretly wondering what they must think of you.

Crying yourself to sleep.

Not knowing how to relate to people who say they wish they weighed what they did in high school, because you’ve always been ashamed of your weight.

Saying you didn’t like anything you tried on instead of admitting nothing fit.

Having a GREAT personality.

Being obese has been a part of our identities forever, and these definitions of what we are and how we feel have shaped us in more ways than we can count. We are who we are BECAUSE we've always been big, and when you want to be different than how you've ALWAYS been, it gets hard. Like really hard - in a way that you never probably thought about beforehand. How can you separate yourself from something that has defined you your entire life? Are you even you anymore without it? These are questions we've been pondering over this journey, and they aren't particularly fun. They are, however, necessary. They make you vulnerable, and raw, and uncomfortable, and it's in those settings that we've been able to grow. We didn't make this list of what obesity has been to us because we hate ourselves or our path. It's actually for quite the opposite reason. This list illustrates a shared experience that has made us both into people we can be proud of - people who know struggle and even shame, but who also know joy and self-worth because we had to find it in something outside of where society told us it would be found. We've been all these things. We've had all these feelings. And you know what? We're happy about that.